Options…. Exam में कई बार ऐसे 4 option आते है,जब आपको सारे सही ही लगते है पर आपको चुनना एक ही होता है! आपका option क्या है ? 😍😍😜😜
Posted: October 16, 2023 in Uncategorized
Two students go to physics exam. The first goes in the class and the professor begins with the questions:
-lets say you are traveling by train and its getting hot. What will you do?
- Open the window. he answers.
- Very good – the professor continues.
The window has a surface of 1.5 m2, the compartment has a volume of 12 m3, the train speeds 80 km / h to the west, the south wind blowing at 5 m / s. How quickly will the space be refreshed?
The student does not know the answer and fails the exam. He gets out and tell to the other student the question. The second goes in, and the professor begins with the questions:
-Lets say u r traveling by train and getting hot. What will you do?
-take off the coat – answers the student.
“It’s very hot!” Continues the professor.
-Take off my shirt and my vest.
-It’s hot!
-take off the pants and socks.
“If someone comes and tries to rape you,” said the angry professor.
-puri train se gand marwa lunga par window nai kholun ga
Just superb ❤️❤️❤️
A Sindhi boards a Jet Airways flight from Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat.
As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane.
Sindhi, soon realizes she’s heading straight towards his seat.
Lo and behold, she takes the seat right next to Sindhi.
Eager to strike up a conversation, Sindhi asks ,,,,,”Business trip or vacation?”
She turns, smiles, and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Sexologists Convention.”
Sindhi swallows hard. Here is the most gorgeous woman Sindhi has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she’s a sexologist! Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, Sindhi calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she says, “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” Sindhi says, swallowing hard. “What m-m-m-myths are those?”
“Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it’s the Tamilian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is the Bengali. However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Sardar.”
Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!”
“Venkataraman!” Sindhi blurts out, “Venkataraman Banerjee! But all my friends call me Joginder Singh!”😀😀😀
एक बार एक मौलवी मेला देखने शहर गया
मेले में एक जगह दो लाइन लिखी थी
एक में लिखा था :
“देखने के 20 रुपए ”
दूसरी में लिखा था : “करने के 10
रुपए ”
मौलवी 10 रुपए दे कर घुस गया
उसे वहा एक बकरी दी गयी चोदने
को , मौलवी ने उसे चोदा और चला
गया
दुसरे दिन वो 20 रुपए दे कर देखने
वाली लाइन में चला गया
आगे वाले से पुछा : “भाई यहाँ
क्या दिखाते हैं ”
आगे वाला बोला : “पता नहीं आज
क्या दिखायेंगे , कल तो एक मौलवी
को बकरी चोदते दिखाया था “
😂😃😅😀😄😂
~Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”
Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!
As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.
And I just need to wear underwear more often…..
Shashi Tharoor to Rakhi Sawant: Bestow me with the delectation of your occurrence at my mansion.
Rakhi: माफ करना भैया।
इतनी क्लियर अंग्रेज़ी नही आती। सीधी साधी हिंदी में बोलो।
Shashi Tharoor: आओ कभी मेरी हवेली पर।
Rakhi: आप की जन्मदात्री की विस्तृत योनी।
Tharoor- Sorry, I don’t understand pure & classical Hindi. Please use simplest words
Rakhi: तेरी माँ का भोंसडा !😊😎
A survey conducted by Sexologist Dr Paras Shah at Ahmedabad among women (Married & Unmarried) gave the following results.
‘UW’ – Unmarried Women
‘MW’ – Married Women
Q: What is the one thing that pierces a woman hard, when she hugs a man?
UW: Penis.
MW: Unshaved facial hair.
Q: What is the most painful experience during sex?
UW: Beginning of intercourse.
MW: When my hair gets entangled.
Q: How long does an intercourse last?
UW: Around an hour.
MW: Just about 6 mins.
Q: One thing that a woman hates about sex?
UW: Risk of pregnancy.
MW: The cleaning up.
Q: What do men hate the most in a woman’s body?
UW: Body odour / unwanted hair / flab.
MW: Menstruation.
Q: Which is the one part of woman’s body that can get her into trouble?
UW: Vagina.
MW: Tongue.
Q: What is the one quality that a man likes in a woman?
UW: Simplicity / Intelligence / Understanding.
MW: Cooking.
Q: When is a man in the maximum mood for sex?
UW: At night / When naked.
MW: Those 5 days.
Q: Which part of a woman’s body is most liked by men?
UW: Breasts / waist / face / eyes.
MW: Closed mouth.
Q: When is a man not in the mood to have sex?
UW: When he is sick / tired / upset.
MW: When he is hungry.
Q: When is a man very kind to his woman?
UW: When he needs help / when aroused.
MW: In front of other women.
Marriage Does Bring a Lot of Maturity to Women !!!
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.
An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”
The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It costs half a million dollars!”
“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. Why does it cost so much?”
“Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!”, replies the doctor. States the doctor proudly.
The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”
“No problem,” replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right, but I’ll stick with my moped!”
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what the car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror – what it could be…and suddenly…
WHOOOOOSHHH!
Something whips by him going much faster!
“What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?” The doctor asks himself.
He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the moped!
Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.
WHOOOSHHH!
He is feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!
The Ferrari is flat out, and there is nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says “Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you? I am a doctor.”
The old man whispers, “Please, please, please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror.” 😀😀
The Pakistan Army recently found it had too many Generals, and offered them an early retirement with bonus in USD.
They said any General who retired now, his payment $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of his body.
The Generals can select any of his body points.
The first man, an Air marshal, asked to measure from his head to the tip of his toes.
Six feet. *
He walked out with a cheque of $720,000!*
The second man, an Naval admiral, asked to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
Eight feet. *
He walked out with a cheque for $960,000!!*
When the third general, a grizzled old Ranger, was asked where to measure.
He said “From the tip of my penis to my testicles.”*
The pension man suggested, that the grizzle Ranger should reconsider. As, the previous two Generals, who came before him had received, good money, because of their distance in body parts.
The grizzle Ranger still insisted.
So, the pension man got a medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer asked the Ranger to drop his pants.
The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the Ranger’s penis and began to measure.
“My God!” The medical officer said. “Where are your testicles?”
The Ranger replied,
“In Kargil.”
And thats how, Pakistan became Bankrupt.
Ashjokes's Blog 