THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
By using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt
Archive for January, 2012
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5 kinds of sex
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, “Screw you!”
5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
Virginity is like a balloon..1 prick & it’s gone forever! Sex is like a pack of chips..once u start u can’t stop! Exam paper is like a dick..when it gets hard people get fucked!
Work is like a group sex,10 people r behind ur ass to take ur place.
Education is like hiring a prostitute..it needs both ur money & ur hard work Succes is like masturbating only ur own hand can let u achieve it.
So basically life is Pornography.O:)
At college, male & female students were told to individually write a sentence using both the words ‘sex’ and ‘love.’
Females wrote : When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, then it is spiritually and morally acceptable to society that they both engage themselves in the act of physical sex with one another.
Men wrote : ‘I love sex’ 😀
Hilarious One Liners!
* If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress
* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink.
* Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg does not find nuts.
* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
* Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
* Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.
* I love you in blue, I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
Similarity between Playboy Magazine & National Geographic ?
Posted: January 29, 2012 in UncategorizedSimilarity between Playboy Magazine &
National Geographic ?
Ans : Both show a lot of GREAT locations where We can NEVER reach !!
Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: “I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby!
The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.
” Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma? ”
“Yes… speaking”
Reliance guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”
“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the Reliance guy.
“What are you saying? It’s in your files …HOW?????”
” Yes ………… . We have a system of finding out who’s overdue ”
” GOD!!!!!!… …….. This is too much…….. ..”
“Madam, I am sorry… I am following orders…. I have to inform you are overdue”
“I know that … let me talk to my husband about this tonight. …. He will speak to your company tomorrow ”
That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull,rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.
“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at Reliance, “it’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”
“PAY you? And if I refuse?”
“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”
“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.”=D =))
Policewale ne raat ko 2 ladke aur 1 ladki ko ek park mein pakda.
Police to 1st boy :- Who are you and what are you doing?
1st boy :- Mera naam Kishan hai aur main bansuri baja raha tha.
Police :- O.k. tum jao.
2nd boy :- Mera naam Kanhaiyya hai aur main bansuri baja raha tha.
Police ne usko bhi jaane diya aur ladki se kaha achcha tum bhi bansuri baja rahi thi..?
Girl :- Nahi,mera hi naam bansuri hai;)=))
A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder, turns around, and is face to face with a big black bear. ‘You’ve got two choices,’ says the bear. ‘I maul you, or we have sex.’
The guy opts to take it from the bear. After recovering for two weeks, the pissed-off hunter searches out and shoots the big black bear. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10-foot grizzly standing over him.
‘Admit it,’ says the bear. ‘You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?’
Twins Jack & Joe’s story:
joe’s wife died & on d same day Jack’s boat sank.
An old lady to Jack (mistaking him for Joe): Sorry for your loss.
Jack(Thinking about the boat):
She was a rotten thing with a huge bottom.
She was losing her water, had a crack in the back & a big hole in the front which got bigger & leaked like crazy.
I guess what finished her was when I rented her to 4 guys.
The fools tried to get in her at the same time & did the Titanic on her all night !
THE OLD LADY FAINTED!! =D
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